My daughter just moved to Arizona to live with us. We are, of course, super happy. The only sad part is that who arrived this year was not the young lady who left last year.
When she left, she was full of vim and vigor for the Gospel. She was excited to take the lead on teaching our Sunday lessons with the family. She is very insightful and has a strong desire to know Heavenly Father and was excited to pursue knowledge of Him.
Who arrived this year struggled with interest in the Church. She will always say she knows there is a Father in Heaven, but she doesn’t really feel like he is interested in her. She doesn’t feel close to him or feel she has a lot of connection. She doesn’t see answers to her prayers or His hand in her life.
I was saddened by this sudden flip. My excited, super spiritual girl has a shadow on her countenance and it is evident.
We talked about what she was doing to have that relationship with God: I ask “Are you praying?”
“No…” she answers sheepishly.
“Are you reading scriptures?”
“No.”
“Are you interested in going to seminary?”
“No.”
“Do you casually talk to God in your mind or out loud?”
“No.”
“So, you aren’t making any effort to get to know Him, you just want Him to talk to you?”
“Well, I don’t think He is listening to me.”
I thought about this for a minute. “Are you still super close to Lilly?”, her best friend from where she lived three years ago.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“We don’t talk as much and she doesn’t respond when I text very often.”
“Maybe that’s how your relationship is with Heavenly Father? Could it be that you are so busy doing what you want to do that you aren’t responding when He does reach out?”
This got her thinking. She decided she would work harder at that relationship. We decided that, since she goes to a charter school and we really don’t know how to get her into seminary right now, we would have our own seminary at home. We started reading in Nephi, since reading the Book of Mormon can never be a bad way to start.
Almost immediately, we found parallels in what she was going through. We were reading in Chapter 2 of 1st Nephi when we came across Lehi’s rebuke of Laman and Lemuel. Nephi, having heard the whole thing chose to go to Heavenly Father to find out for himself.
This was interesting. Specifically, because Nephi stated that he wanted to understand what his father, so he sought to hear it directly from God. He sought his own witness; he did his own research.
It got me thinking about the state of affairs in the world, especially in the US. When Arya and I discussed that Nephi sought his own knowledge, I remarked how all Laman and Lemuel ever had was other people’s accounts of the Gospel. Yes, they saw angels, too, but they never sought out learning, they would just rely on what others told them, then turn once things got too difficult or if they felt inconvenienced or treated unfairly. Laman and Lemuel had the CNN version of the Gospel, not actual knowledge.
I think about how that applies now – within and without the church. I hear so often people regurgitating the opinions of people in the news, but they have no idea or knowledge of where that person got their information. They just chose to trust that person’s version of what was being said. They don’t seek out the actual information, they don’t research the talks, the laws, the reality of a situation, they are going entirely on “faith” about something someone else is saying is truth.
And the result is a lot of misinformation, a lot of distrust, and a woeful lack of understanding about how our government and society really works. We see the results daily.
The same applies to the Gospel. How many of us base our entire testimony on what other people say? Our entire understanding of the Gospel, the principles, even Christ’s ministry is from other people’s commentary. Judging by the people who quit the church or religion altogether, I would say a lot. They don’t actually have knowledge or understanding, all they have is the CNN version of the Gospel – that is exactly the point of “building a firm foundation.”
One of my favorite scriptures is D&C 46:13-14:
13 To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world.
14 To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.
There is only one caveat to all of this – it is dependent on the work someone does to gain the knowledge and understanding, themselves. Verse 14 is not a way out of my concern, it is the promise that, with study, effort, and consistency, I will believe on their words. I haven’t been shy about my empiricism conflicting with my beliefs, but as I leaned forward into God, He knowing that I am skeptical of what I call “knowledge,” gave me this gift of scripture to assure me that it is okay that I don’t feel I claim a “knowledge” like Arya and Lisa have. It is sufficient for me to choose to act in hope that someday I will understand.
I understand a lot, I don’t “know” if I “know” anything.
The point is, I am on conversation 3.0 because the first two conversions were dependent on a CNN version of the Gospel. My conversion 3.0 is based on my seeking knowledge, coupled with the validation of the Gospel and verse 14 of this quoted scripture.
However, having a “knowledge” as some people have, like my daughter, my wife, and others mentioned in verse 13, doesn’t wave off the need for study, learning, and seeking Heavenly Father with intention. The “knowledge” they have still needs to be reinforced with actual knowledge, gained through study. To “know” that God exists isn’t enough to see Him in your life – you still have to do the work so that you can recognize His hand or presence.
This is what is in 1st Nephi 2:16. Nephi was feeling angry and was inline with his brothers, but he chose to seek knowledge by going directly to Heavenly Father to understand. His faith that Heavenly Father would be there comes from his diligent study and seeking a relationship with Him. Laman and Lemuel only relied on what those around them told them, so their conversions never took hold.
If you feel that you aren’t hearing Heavenly Father, study and research Him, don’t rely on the CNN version of the Gospel. Other people’s experiences are what worked for them – they are anecdotes. They are only providing examples, not providing the answers. Find your own answers and Heavenly Father will deliver as He did for Nephi.
